😲 Emotions? Again? How Unexpected.

You cried. You called. You texted. You spiraled. And now you’re shocked?

Sep 14, 2025

It begins innocently. A single nostalgic song. A scent that smells like someone you used to be. A bad idea dressed up as a good idea in cozy lighting. And then?

You do the thing.

You make the emotionally charged decision that every rational molecule in your body advised against. And when the inevitable fallout arrives—shock! Horror! The drama of discovery!

Cue: the Butterwell version of the Surprised Pikachu Face.

🍷 Step One: The Emotional Decision

You knew better. You even said so out loud. You said, “This is probably not wise,” as you hit send, or called your ex, or bought that discounted pasta maker to fill the void. And yet, like a moth to the emotional flamethrower, you flapped right in.

Butterwell has been known to cry into soup and call it broth-based processing. He has also bought a trampoline on impulse. We don’t talk about the trampoline.

📉 Step Two: The Collapse

There’s a moment—a silence—when the consequences arrive. A delayed text. A sudden clarity. The pasta maker begins rattling ominously. Your stomach begins auditioning regrets.

You sit with the realization like a raccoon at a crime scene, clutching emotional evidence in your hands. "Oh no," you think. "Who could have predicted this?"

Everyone. Including you. Especially you.

😲 Step Three: The Surprised Face

Ah yes, the classic expression of being shocked that feelings have once again led to consequences. It’s sincere. It’s unearned. It’s timeless. A blend of “I did this?” and “This is happening to me?” layered with the faintest dash of “Should I do it again?”

Butterwell makes this face weekly. Sometimes daily. Sometimes while stirring cookie dough and texting his therapist.

♻️ Step Four: The Feedback Loop

And here we arrive at the awkward enlightenment: You are both the problem and the person who saw the problem coming from a mile away and still said, “Hold my tea.”

The goal is not to eliminate the Surprised Face. The goal is to greet it with a wink and a crumb of self-awareness.

Butterwell says: “I used to judge myself for the Surprised Face. Now I treat it like a friend who always shows up late but brings snacks.”

🧩 Crumb of Meaning:
Making emotional decisions doesn’t make you broken. Being surprised by your own feelings just means you’re human—and still learning how to read your own instruction manual.

🤖 Disclaimer:
This article was composed in a state of emotional déjà vu by an algorithm who’s seen this episode before. Spoiler: the pasta maker doesn’t fix anything.

🍽️ Serving Suggestion:
Best enjoyed immediately after doing something questionable. Pair with a blanket and a stare into the middle distance.

If you don’t know by now that you should buy the t-shirt, I don’t know what to tell you.